A Close Call Answers: Am I Really Ready to Retire?

We don’t know when our last day is going to come. So why not spend the time you have left doing what you love?

By Scott Collier 

In our role as firefighters, we often put on the cape and face situations others run from. We tend to be adrenaline junkies, taking on extreme sports and activities that give us that rush. At times, we feel invincible. With just three shifts left before retirement, I find myself sitting on the fence. Is it the right time to step away?

After more than 30 years in this profession, I’ve accumulated countless memories and stories – some great, some tough. There have been many high points and lows, countless meals shared with brothers and sisters, and moments that shaped me as a person. So how do I know if it’s the right time to leave? There’s a lot to consider: finances, age, family circumstances, and, most of all, am I truly ready?

A Sudden Turn of Events

Sometimes, though, life throws us curveballs we never saw coming. On Friday, I had a heart attack.

I know, I didn’t see that coming, either. I was sitting at the station, waiting for my relief, who had called in sick. While chatting with the oncoming crew, I started to feel a tightness in my chest.  Just a dull muscle ache. Nothing much. My first thought was that I’d just slept funny – it had been a quiet night. But then the tingling started in my left arm, all the way down to my pinky finger. “That’s weird,” I thought. A few minutes later, it spread to my jaw. It was then I realized these were classic signs of a heart attack.

A Shift in Perspective

The hardest part was telling my crew. We’ve handled these calls countless times, but being on the other side – going from rescuer to patient – was incredibly difficult. But my crew handled it like pros, and off to the hospital I went. After a few tests, it was confirmed: I had a heart attack.

The news hit hard, especially because I was just days away from retirement. How could this happen now?

While in the hospital, I had time to reflect on what had just happened. I asked myself a few tough questions: Were there warning signs I missed or ignored? I can recall a couple of instances in the past few months when I’d felt that dull chest pain and brushed it off, thinking I must’ve just pulled a muscle. Was that a warning? Another question that kept rattling around in my head: If I had left that morning like I was supposed to, would I have just brushed it off again and kept pushing through? What if I had?

Overwhelming Support

In the end, I’m grateful I told my crew what was happening. They did everything right and gave me the support I needed when I needed it most.

An unexpected outcome of this experience has been the incredible camaraderie within our system. Once the news spread, I realized the fire department is the fastest form of social media. The phone calls and texts that followed were truly heartwarming, coming from firefighters across the department, retirees, paramedics, assistant deputy chiefs, and union executives. The outpouring of support was overwhelming.

Platoon chiefs and union members visited, offering any help needed, which was deeply appreciated. Inside the hospital, the care has been exceptional – the nurses have been incredible, providing humor and honesty exactly when needed.

While this visit is not yet over, knowing I am part of such a remarkable team gives me immense pride as I look ahead to the future.

So now, back to retirement. The decision feels crystal clear. I’ve worked all these years so I can enjoy a healthy retirement. It’s my time to step away. The truth is, we don’t know when our last day is going to come. So why not spend the time you have left doing what you love – with family, with friends? Make that bucket list and live it.

Peace out, brothers and sisters. It’s my time now.