6 Ways to Navigate the Holidays After Divorce

The beauty of being on your own for the holidays is you get to spend them doing whatever you want

By CRACKYL staff

So, here you are. It’s officially the holiday season, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you’re walking into it alone. Whether it’s your first week or first year post-divorce, there’s something about the holidays that can stir up emotions you thought you had tucked away.

For firefighters, this can feel even heavier. Your schedule may already keep you away from loved ones, and now you may also be juggling the pain of a broken tradition, the awkwardness of explaining your situation to family and friends, or even the quiet moments when you’re just sitting with yourself. It’s heavy. But here’s the thing: you’re not alone in this, and you’re not powerless.

Let’s break it down and figure out how to take this season one day at a time.

1. Acknowledge the Ghost of Holidays Past

First off, it’s OK to feel sad. Maybe you’re reminiscing about the last time you put up a tree together, or a favorite holiday trip you took with your ex. Those memories can hit hard, but here’s a little trick: don’t fight them. Acknowledge them. Think of them as chapters in your life story – not the ending, just part of the narrative.

When you catch yourself spiraling into nostalgia, try reframing it. Instead of focusing on what’s lost, consider what you’ve gained: maybe some hard-earned lessons, resilience, or a renewed sense of who you are. It’s all part of your growth.

2. Your Solo Celebration Isn’t a Failure

Spending the holidays alone might feel like a neon sign is flashing “FAILURE” over your head, but it’s not. If anything, this is your chance to rewrite what the holidays mean to you. It doesn’t have to be about traditional dinners or picture-perfect family moments – it can be as unique as you would like it to be.

Write down what brings you joy during the season. Is it hot cocoa after a night shift? The smell of pine? Watching classic holiday movies? Dive headfirst into those things. Treat yourself, you’ve earned it. You’re the architect of your holiday experience now.

3. Create New Traditions

Here’s the fun part: starting fresh. Think about what traditions you want to keep, modify, or toss out completely. Maybe you always spent Christmas Eve with your ex’s family, but now you can use that night to host a “Friendsmas” party. If you’re a parent, you get to create brand-new memories with your kids, like making and decorating gingerbread cookies, or bundling up for a walk to go look at holiday lights.

And if you’re flying completely solo this year? Then you’re free to experiment. Cook a meal you’ve always wanted to try, volunteer to help others, or take a break from it all and book a holiday retreat. The options are endless when you’re not tied to anyone else’s plans.

4. It’s OK to Say ‘No’

There’s no shortage of invites to family gatherings, holiday parties, and neighborhood events this time of year. Some of them might feel like minefields, full of awkward questions or pitying glances. “How are you holding up?” “Will you be bringing anyone this year?” Cue the eye-roll, right?

Guess what? You can say “No.” You don’t have to go if it feels like too much. It’s perfectly fine to say, “Thanks, but I need some me-time this year.” Protect your peace. Like children’ s author Dr. Suess wrote, “The people who matter won’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.”

5. Gratitude Isn’t Just for Others

You know the importance of gratitude on the job, whether it’s a thank-you from the community or appreciation for the little wins after a tough call. Now, turn that gratitude inward. 

Take a moment to reflect on the little things that bring you joy. What made you smile today? Maybe it’s a kind text from a friend, a laugh with a co-worker, or just a really good cup of coffee. Even when life feels messy, gratitude has a way of shifting your perspective.

6. Give Yourself Some Grace

Firefighters know the value of debriefing and recovery after a hard incident. The holidays after divorce are no different. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t need to plaster on a smile or force holiday cheer.

Feel your feelings, whether they’re loneliness, frustration, hope, or anger. Healing isn’t linear, and there’s no pressure to “move on” by a certain date. The fact you’re still standing after the roller-coaster of divorce is worth celebrating.

The Gift of Starting Over

This holiday season is your chance to rebuild and rediscover what matters most to you. So, hang those lights (or don’t). Go sledding with your kids. Roast a few chestnuts. Plan a new adventure. Above all, remember: you’ve got this. 

Cheers to new beginnings, brighter days, and a holiday season that reflects the resilient person you are. 

An editor utilized CRACKYL’s custom GPT in the creation of this article.