ConnectBuilding Better Relationships: 5 Communication Tips

Building Better Relationships: 5 Communication Tips

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By Caroline Godin

The phrase, “no man is an island” tells us relationships are a necessary part of living. There are a few hermits out there that have it figured out, but for the rest of us, we need healthy relationships to live well in this world. But those can be tricky, so if we’re going to be building better relationships, we need to work on better communication. Let’s dive into that and cover a few tips for healthy communication.

A First-Responder Relationship

A first-responder relationship is different from the rest of the population. Your hours vary or are opposite that of most of your friends and family. You may have a little more gallows humor than some of your non-responder connections. Returning messages could take longer, and it might be easy to catch you on a bad day or at a time when you’re simply exhausted. Getting someone who understands you and the job you do is likely challenging outside the job.

Of course, you’re human, too. So, you want time to hang out with those you love. You want to be heard and understood. You want camaraderie, support, comfort, and trust. 

Not all relationships are personal. Some are business and job-related. Some are short-lived.

Whatever the relationship type, if you’re working on building better relationships, you need to provide (and be provided with) healthy communication. Communication is key.

The Importance of Communication

Without communication, there would be no relationship. Further, without healthy communication, there would be no healthy relationship. If you’re building better relationships, you need to know the importance of communication.

There are several reasons we communicate, but let’s break it down to a few. Communication can be used to inform, connect, heal, and grow.

Inform

Communication is how we give and receive information. Whether the information is critical or unimportant, personal or professional, urgent or not, we communicate to transfer information. If something is not communicated – or not communicated well – there can be negative consequences.

Information is passed in many ways, and the method matters. Responders need to pass information clearly on the job. Bad news needs to be broken gently to loved ones. Supervisors need to deliver performance reviews confidentially. If these things are mishandled, it affects all involved.

Connect

People communicate to connect, as well. You’re not an island; you need connection. When there’s joyful news, a new job, a new baby, or a new engagement, people rush to share the story. They communicate to connect so others share in that joy.

The same is true for tougher moments. People do better when they connect and communicate their struggles, whether it’s going through divorce, recovering from addiction, or suffering from an illness. Through solidarity and camaraderie, people lean on each other for support.

Heal

Communication helps people heal. Some wounds aren’t visible and can go unnoticed. PTS, anxiety, depression, heartache from loss – all require open communication for healing to begin. Whether it’s asking for or giving forgiveness, requesting help, or working through past trauma, communication helps soothe wounds and forge a new path forward.

Grow

Communication helps people grow by learning from experiences, gaining insights, and understanding more of themselves and those around them. When you give and take information, connect with others, and remain open to healing and new perspectives, you grow as a first responder and a person in general.

5 Communication Tips

These purposes for communication sound great and work toward building better relationships, but how are you going to apply them? Here are five communication tips to promote healthy relationships on the job and in your life:

Engage in Active Listening

Listening isn’t just your moment to build your next response. It’s a time to take in the information, gain understanding of the person speaking, and assess and consider all that’s being said.

Active listening is more than hearing words. It’s showing you’re attentive by leaning in, offering eye contact, and shutting out distractions. A combination of some of those actions can encourage the other person to express what needs expressing. You’re more likely to receive the same respect in return if you’re willing to give it first.

Up Your Emotional Intelligence

Before speaking, whether it’s a private conversation or you’re speaking to an audience of hundreds, read the room. What’s their posture, their demeanor, their attitude? This is especially true for difficult conversations and in closer relationships.

Emotional intelligence helps you grasp how you and others are feeling. When you check your emotions, you can catch an outburst or a flash of anger before it escalates. You can also slow yourself down if you’re getting anxious. When you see these signs in others, you can slow yourself down and acknowledge their stress. This communicates care and goes a long way in understanding for both people.

Speak with Clarity

Be clear and concise as often as possible. On the job, you don’t have time to beat around the bush. When you’re on a call, communication is essential to getting the job done. Whether it’s a fire or a firefight, a mild domestic or a transfer patient, you need to be clear to dispatch, your partner, and the public.

Things can be easily misunderstood if you’re not clear, especially if there’s high intensity or emotions involved. Think ahead of what you need to say (if possible), find a way to say it clearly, and say it. Don’t leave room for interpretation, especially in important matters. It helps to be concise, as well. Too many details can wash out the point.

Paraphrase When Possible

Communication is a two-way street, and everyone needs to convey understanding, ensuring the communication’s effectiveness. So, paraphrase the other person’s statement to be sure you understand. This gives him or her the opportunity to reword or clarify the statement. Maybe you misunderstood or left something out. 

Paraphrasing also tells the person that hearing them correctly is something you care about. You tell that person you want their statement to be understood. This builds trust.

Be Approachable

None of the above works if no one wants to talk to you in the first place. For leaders, have an open-door policy and check in on your team regularly. Work on building that trust, so your team is willing to approach you with any questions or concerns.

Being approachable means not shutting people out. Even if you can’t talk at that moment, offer a time when you can so you’re showing you want to hear them, just not at that time. No one wants to talk to a person who has no time for them, or someone who won’t hear what they have to say. So, work on being approachable.

Healthy Communication for Healthy Relationships

Building better relationships starts with healthy communication, and that can be tricky in a first-responder life. With better communication skills and a little more self-awareness, everyone can up their communication game. When you’re open to better communication, stronger relationships come naturally. 

Start by building your listening skills and your emotional intelligence. Conveying your own statements becomes easier as you hear and understand those around you better. You start to know your audience, your peers, your friends and family better. They’ll notice, too, that you’ve become a better listener and a better communicator. These small changes are big steps in building better relationships.

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