Firefighter Retirement: Rear View or Windshield?

First responders who plan for their mental health in retirement generally experience a smoother transition

By Steve Farina, Executive Vice-President of British Columbia Professional Fire Fighters’ Association

I saw this quote recently and it intrigued me: “THERE’S A REASON the windshield is so much bigger than the rearview mirror because WHERE YOU’RE HEADED is much more important than what you’ve left behind.” Talk about a fresh perspective!

When I look back on my career in the fire service and life up to this point, I am so proud. Proud to be a father, brother, son and partner. Of course, I am also proud to be a firefighter. I am very grateful to have been a small part of so much change in the fire service here in British Columbia, surrounded by amazing leaders, peers and co-workers.

Not too long ago, I reached out to one of my favorite retirees and took him for lunch. I mentioned I was writing an article about retirement and wanted to share his experience with others in hopes of normalizing their experience and helping them prepare for the transition. With his permission, I share a piece of Greg’s story.

Twenty-seven years ago, he was my technical rope rescue instructor in recruit training. He is my friend and was one of my mentors. Greg was promoted to assistant chief and became deputy chief of operations before retiring on June 26, 2014. He has had quite the life. You could say he is a bit of a “shit magnet,” with his fair share of grief and loss, trauma exposure, and one heck of a roller-coaster ride with his family. Yet, through it all, he can still laugh and smile.

Lucky for Greg, his wife is a saint and his dog Gibbs brings him joy and purpose. Over the years, I have supported Greg as a friend. Plenty of walk-and-talks and the occasional beers. He was also there for me in some of my darkest times, and I will forever be grateful for his support.

Making a Transition

Greg struggled with transitioning from the unionized side of the fire department to the chief officer role. He felt isolated. Friendships and relationships with the frontline firefighters changed.

I remember fondly his last week on the job. One of our traditions is to “bucket” the new people and often retiring captains. Greg confided in me that he was disappointed the crews would not celebrate his departure as they did for the company officers (mostly out of fear and respect)!

Arrangements were made, and he walked boldly out of the truck bay. To his delight, the water came raining down, soaking his uniform. The smile on his face and the cackle of laughter warmed my heart, and I knew Greg appreciated it.

Flash forward months into retirement, and Greg confided in me once again. He was avoiding returning to the fire hall. He was afraid he would not be able to handle the emotions that were being held below the surface. His sadness after retiring was heavy, as he had such a love for the job and the crews. He missed it so much it hurt. This was grief and loss that had added to his backpack of unprocessed experiences from life and his career.

Over time and a few coffee chats, we finally convinced him to join us for lunch on a day shift. And then a dinner with some of the other crews. He was missed and loved the connection, but Greg was still hyper-aware about not overstaying his welcome.

Balancing Act

It is a fine balance to visit and feel like you’re not intruding or hanging around for hours because you’re lonely. This is something not often talked about in the fire service. We say we are a family and all are welcome, but things change, and people move on. There are more emergency calls, more training, and more new people.

As a senior captain, I am embarrassed to admit I no longer know everyone’s face or name. I share this experience as it relates to my friend Greg. He’s been retired for 10 years now, and I can only imagine how he feels walking into a fire hall in Coquitlam and maybe recognizing one or two faces out of eight on-duty firefighters. The once familiar and safe space of the kitchen table has now changed, and that protective factor that he once relied on is no longer there.

Reflecting on a Career

I am now months away from my retirement from the fire service after 33 years as a career and paid-on-call firefighter. As I reflect on my career as a firefighter as well as a union representative, I think to myself, have I left it better than I found it? Can I retire with my head held high, with no regrets? Will I miss the job, the people, and serving my community? All of these questions and more are rattling around in my brain. I know I will miss the firefighters in IAFF 1782 in Coquitlam, across B.C. and beyond.

Many friends and colleagues have asked me: What is next? Since I was 19 years old, I have been a firefighter. It has shaped me into the person I am today. It has been a privilege and an honor to serve, and being a firefighter has been intertwined with my identity. It has come at a high price, though.

The Struggle is Real

I see so many retirees struggle with retirement. The loss of identity, the loss of meaning and purpose. The unprocessed trauma, grief and loss. Of course, we want to retire healthy and thriving, but so many before me have fallen through the cracks.

So many retirees are challenged with mental ill-health, feeling disconnected and alone in their suffering. So many are still looking through their rearview mirror at the career and firefighter life they left behind. The camaraderie, the friendships and the bonds are gone. They may be stuck in the past and are not thriving, but THERE IS HOPE!

That profound shift is happening for me next year. The heaviness of this career has left an indelible mark on my soul. I have made it my mission to leave this career healthy and armed with meaning and purpose. I have worked with my amazing clinical counsellor to address any lurking demons from my past while healing and growing.

I have seen far too often the results when my fellow first responders retire from a career of service without a plan, without healing or dealing with their backpack full of traumatic incidents, life experiences, grief and loss. They have gotten used to the heaviness of those experiences. They have grown accustomed to pushing those feelings down and not addressing the subconscious pain it causes. Then they step into retirement and realize it does not magically erase those memories and pain, and unfortunately, it can amplify that unresolved past.

The Reality About Retirement

Retirement is a major life transition that can be viewed as a reward for years of hard work and service. Retirement can be exciting but it can also bring about stress, depression, anxiety and other mental health challenges. 

While we tend to plan for the financial aspects of retirement, many overlook preparing for the psychological impacts that may arise.

When you retire, a huge part of your support system often disappears, the challenging calls, the protective factors such as camaraderie, the routine, and the team environment.

Depending on your home environment and the supports you have in place pre-retirement, you may start to ruminate or revisit some troubling memories. Years of unprocessed trauma may start bubbling to the surface. Everything you have shoved down for years starts popping up like a giant beach ball you have tried to hold under water for 25+ years.

After many months or years, many retirees reach out to our team for support. They feel lost, overwhelmed, misunderstood and unsupported. They have waited until they are over the proverbial waterfall and are now caught in the turbulence of an emotional whirlpool. The complexity of assisting someone at this point is challenging, and resources and extended health benefits for retirees are typically inadequate. 

Supportive Resources

First responders who plan for their mental health in retirement generally experience a smoother transition. To help, the BC First Responders’ Mental Health website has retirement resources available. You may find these two recorded panel discussions on retirement helpful as well: Mental Health In Retirement and First Responders’ Mental Health in Retirement. And be sure to download the Guide for Retirees, which contains advice and tips for every stage leading up to and during retirement.

The bottom line is: that we need to be proactive and take care of these issues before retirement and deal with any potentially traumatic experiences early and often throughout our career. You also need to get yourself a Mental Health Sherpa! You can check out the Warrior Health clinician directory to find an occupationally aware mental health professional.

Select a support person or a group of people who understand what you have gone through. And lastly, don’t forget to get a hobby or volunteer, and leave your career with meaning and purpose for your next Chapter in LIFE!