How You Can Ease Firefighting’s Impact on Relationships

Researchers share their recommendations for building better connections

By CRACKYL staff

There’s no question that being a firefighter is a challenge. Yet sometimes, the hardest part of the job isn’t the fires or the calls; it’s how it can affect your relationships. Have you ever taken a moment to ask yourself: How is my job shaping my relationships?

A study by researchers at the University of Montana dug into this question. They surveyed 249 wildland firefighters to understand how the demands of their career ripple through their personal lives. Here’s what they found:

• The job can strain relationships with close friends
• Intimate relationships often suffer because of the demanding nature of the work
• Partners struggle to adapt to erratic schedules
• Many partners (especially of male firefighters) wish the job allowed for more quality time together

Sound familiar? Maybe you’ve felt the tension of missed birthdays or canceled date nights. Or perhaps you’ve noticed the growing distance between you and an old friend who doesn’t quite understand why you’re so hard to reach. 

What You Can Do

There are ways to make things better. The researchers offered some advice to help mitigate these relationship challenges:

1. Communicate Early and Often
   Be upfront about your schedule and the demands of your career with your partner or potential partner. Letting them know what to expect can ease frustrations down the road.
2. Find Someone Who Gets It
   Some firefighters choose to date within the profession because there’s an inherent understanding of the lifestyle. That’s not for everyone, but it’s worth considering.
3. Choose Carefully
   Look for someone who sees your career as part of who you are, not as a deal-breaker. Compatibility in this area can make all the difference.
4. Make the Most of Your Time Off
   Whether it’s a long weekend or a random Tuesday you have off, use that time intentionally. Be present, unplug, and prioritize the people who matter most.

The Takeaway

You can manage the personal challenges that come with being a firefighter and build strong, lasting relationships. It does take work, but open communication and intentional time together can help make all the difference.