I COULD AGREE WITH YOU, BUT THEN WE’D BOTH BE WRONG

In the heat of an argument, disagreeing with the person you’re arguing with sometimes adds to their motivation to argue further.

Arguments can sometimes get intense. They sometimes result in a misunderstanding that creates conflict among people close to you — your family members, your partner, your friends or your co-workers. As a result, this conflict can hurt both your personal and professional relationships. Unfortunately, no matter how much we try, we cannot run from conflicts. So, the question is: what do you do when you are in a conflict situation or when a storm is brewing? Because, let’s face it, everyone has been in that situation before.

There are times when you think you’re right but sadly, others are not on the same page. In cases such as these, some people have the tendency to insist that the argument go their way. As a result, they resort to either sneaky and intimidating tactics such as speaking more loudly, bringing up evidence, speaking with a tone of urgency, refusing to let the topic drop and following the other person from room to room. People who have done this before may believe that these actions can win an argument, but unfortunately, doing this can go the other way, creating more conflict or worse, it can cause a jump in your heart rate and blood pressure. 

So, if you find yourself in the heat of an argument or in a conflict situation, why not try a more calm and reasonable approach?  The next time you want to address a problem or a conflict at the office or at home, try these tactics instead.

“Let me think about that” 

Stating this can do wonders for you. On one hand, it could prevent emotional flooding or that feeling of being overwhelmed when strong emotions begin to rise. It could mitigate any physiological and mental stress that you may experience due to the increase in emotions. On the other hand, taking this mindset encourages you to keep an open mind. 

“You may be right” 

In the heat of an argument, disagreeing with the person you’re arguing with sometimes adds to their motivation to argue further. Saying then that the other person is right can end the argument in an instant. This is because it can soften the other person’s argumentative mood. Don’t get me wrong — this doesn’t mean that you are agreeing with them. It just means that you’re willing to see the subject matter from their own perspective — that something about their argument may actually be right.

“I understand” 

This statement can mellow down a heated argument in an instant because it shows that you are willing to be in the other person’s shoes. Like the one before this, it shows that you are willing to see the issue from their own perspective. But be careful, though; don’t just say this to appease the other person — try to actually understand. If you say this but then insist your point afterwards, it would just be in vain. The other person may see through your empty words, which would aggravate the argument.

“I’m sorry”

The word “sorry” may really be hardest word that one can say. True enough, not everyone can apologize. For some, apologizing means lowering down their ego which they may find difficult to do. For others, they do not like to apologize because it seems like an admission of being wrong. However, apologizing is beyond these. When said with the proper tone and in the proper context, apologizing shows that you are sympathetic and that you care. Sometimes, saying sorry can also mean that you care more about fixing the conflict than simply winning an argument.

Photo By Priscilla Du Preez