Relationships, Family, Divorce, Firefighters - CRACKYL MAGAZINE
By Carly Lumsden

Learn to love your own company. Find things you love to do alone. Get out of your comfort zone and discover the excitement of life again.

Divorces are complicated and painful in many ways. They can also leave lasting effects that impact all areas of life. How are you supposed to have time for yourself while you balance life with the kids on your days off? How can you find your new “normal” with so much change going on?

Some sources claim that the divorce rate for firefighters is a whopping 85 per cent, so it appears to be a very common occurrence in the industry. Getting a divorce can be scary. However, the post-divorce instability doesn’t have to last forever. There are ways to regain balance and begin to live a happy life again.

In this article, we’re going to discuss how to restore balance after a divorce, so that you can start living a happy, fulfilling life again. 

Prioritize self-care

When you’re working demanding shifts, seeing the kids on days off, dealing with divorce settlements, and so much more, it can be easy to forget to prioritize self-care. In fact, it can feel impossible.

But, it’s necessary for your well-being. If you don’t take care of yourself first, you’ll be left empty trying to give your energy to everyone else. So, here are some tips to help you prioritize your self-care.

  • Make time in your schedule every day to take care of your health. This could include working out at the gym or at home if you have small kids, meditating, stretching, going for a walk or prepping healthy meals for the next day. If you’re bad at doing this, set an alarm that reminds you of your self-care.
  • Schedule a time to be with friends. If you have kids, invite your friends over for a BBQ! Or, hire a babysitter for some time away from home to clear your head.
  • Remember what activities you loved to do before your marriage or even during and go do them yourself or with friends on your days off.
  • Find a new hobby. Ideas include try a new style of workout, rock climb, start hiking, read, learn a new language, sketch or anything else you’ve considered in the past.

Dealing with loneliness

After a divorce, there’s often an odd feeling of the void. Like something is missing. It can feel very lonely going from having someone around all the time to not at all, especially if you’re without children and going from work where you’re surrounded by a bunch of other people to being at home alone for extended periods of time.

Here are some tips to manage the loneliness:

  • Learn to love your own company. Find things you love to do alone. Get out of your comfort zone and discover the excitement of life again.
  • Get a pet! Of course, this depends on what shifts you work since pets are a huge commitment. However, if you have the time, pets can be really great companions.
  • Spend more time with friends and family on your days off. If you’re short on friends, try meet up groups where you can find people with similar interests.

Push through the discomfort

Overcoming a divorce is challenging. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed and down but keep pushing through. Make the steps toward a new normal and you’ll get back into balance. It may feel like hard work at the start but sooner than you expect, you’ll find your groove.

Remember that life throws all sorts of phases at us, but it’s often the choices we make that determine how manageable the phases are. So when a divorce gets thrown at you, take the steps to make your new life one you love. 

Photo By John Baker