Signs of Disrespect in Your Marriage

By: Sarah Divine

A healthy marriage is one of the most significant life goals a couple can have. We dream about it as young people, imagining what it would be like to find a perfect match who offers us unconditional love forever. Unfortunately, not all marriages turn out this way. Many are slowly eroded away by the simple act of disrespect. Here are a few signs that your spouse is not respectful.

Shaming Around Friends and on Social Media

Many healthy marriages have good natured banter or teasing. It’s a sign of mutual trust to let the person you love more than anyone poke a little fun at you, knowing they will not take it too far. Marriages can be stressful, so many couples find this a playful outlet that reduces tensions and brings them closer together.

Some individuals, however, take this too far and ignore the boundaries set by their spouse. They may talk to their friends about perceived sexual shortcomings or make a flippant comment on social media that is clearly derogatory. These public shamings are designed to humiliate, and have no place in a healthy relationship.

Turning a blind eye to Strengths and Accomplishments

Every human being has a unique set of strengths and accomplishments that they should be proud of. One of the most critical roles of a spouse is to cheer on and champion their other half. Offering suggestions or giving feedback is certainly acceptable, but it’s reasonable for a spouse to expect recognition from their partner when appropriate. Refusal to acknowledge strengths or accomplishments is simply disrespectful.

They Hide Things From You

Open, honest, and fair communication is the central pillar of all healthy relationships—and it goes without saying that marriages are no exception. Deliberately hiding things (for example, financial concerns) is often the first step in a healthy relationship turning sour.

You should expect your spouse to share what is on their mind so that you can support, console, or stand by them as necessary. Sometimes they say they are just trying to avoid worrying you, but this kind of response removes your agency and could indicate they don’t respect you enough to be honest with you.

They Refuse to Listen to Your Concerns

The classic case is one spouse not feeling sexually fulfilled, perhaps with the frequency of sexual encounters with their partner. This should result in a healthy conversation about how both partners can find more enjoyment with one another, perhaps with the help of an Intimacy Coach or just some extra effort on making time for the bedroom. Shutting down a conversation like this is disrespectful and a rejection of the most natural of all human needs.

If you want your marriage to stand the test of time, you need to ensure your partner treats you with the respect you deserve. But remember, respect is a two way street.