By Geralyn St Joseph
Let’s talk about PASSION, what it really means in a relationship, and whether it’s part of a healthy relationship.
First, we need to know what the word passion means. Did you know passion means suffering, something that must be endured, a controlling emotion? Other than that last definition, most people haven’t thought about the others. A controlling emotion … Does that sound healthy?
What we perceive as passion in a relationship is that nervous/excited feeling at the beginning of a relationship, or the feeling that pulls us back together after a breakup or fight. That is anxiety.
That feeling is the fear of loss that marks a relationship’s instability. Coming together, and building a relationship on this emotion, is dangerous. If this is what we expect from our relationships, it’s tantamount to saying we want a painful, insecure coupling. We’re asking for something that is thoughtless. We’re asking for a relationship built without conscious choice.
Words have POWER. Choose your words carefully.
Nurturing Lust and Romance
What do we really want in our romantic relationships? We want to be wanted and desired. When this is physical desire, it’s called lust. Lust is intense desire and can be nurtured in a relationship. It can last throughout a relationship, and is much healthier than passion.
Our thoughts feed lust. Desire begins in the mind and becomes stronger when nurtured. Flirting with your love and building anticipation for your physical connection can highly enhance your time together.
Another, more appropriate word (than passion) to consider is romance. Being romantic helps build a deep emotional connection with your partner. Romance encompasses respect, spontaneity, personal attention and love. Being romantic is showing your partner he or she is important to you. It’s absolutely necessary in a healthy relationship.
The Power of Affection
The final suggestion I have is to use the word affection. Affection denotes fondness and tender attachment. Physical affection is wonderful in a loving relationship. It helps maintain our connection even when we are too tired, too sick or too whatever to have a fuller sexual experience.
Affection is your partner kissing you on the forehead, or showing appreciation for you. A good hug does wonders for this feeling of connection.
In short, passion isn’t part of a healthy relationship. Instead, strive to be a truly romantic partner who shares lust and affection with your partner.
Geralyn St Joseph is a relationship empowerment coach who has helped people find their best selves and discover their most fulfilling relationships. She coaches individuals, couples and families. Her style of coaching is direct and nurturing. If you are interested in discovering more, visit Geralyn’s website or e-mail her at LoveU@relationshipcoachgsj.com.
