Bill Heffernan, left, with Tacoma FD star Steve Lemme. Photo: Bill Heffernan Instagram

Bill Heffernan is a retired West Haven Fire Department lieutenant, longtime department historian, former technical adviser and consulting producer forthe hit comedyTacoma FD, and cousin ofTacoma FD actor Kevin Heffernan.He now serves as a Connecticut state representative. His blend of frontline experience, historical insight, and behind‑the‑scenes perspective fuelsOff the Record with Cousin Bill Heffernan, where he answers your questions biweekly.

Q: How do you effectively dismantle the “tough it out” stigma in the fire service without relying on clichés or sounding overly academic?

**A:**That is a hard job. Early in my career, the old-timers would tell us things like, “Suck it up,” and “Maybe this job isn’t for you”. Many of these men were veterans of Korea and Vietnam. They had seen some things in their day. I continued this practice with my own men, as a young officer. It was how I was taught. How we all were taught.

Over time, my chief and I enrolled in a few peer support classes and seminars and we were horrified by what we learned. We were killing our men and we were killing ourselves. We returned to our departments armed with this new information, only to be rebuffed by many of our firefighters. It was a badge of honor to show no emotion.

A horrible call was nothing that couldn’t be fixed with a shot and a beer. Even at 7:00 in the morning. It’s how we always handled it.

In time, we were able to educate most of the department. Once word got out, believe it or not, some of the worst offenders privately sought out help and admitted they were suffering. There are still the “hold outs,” firefighters who will not admit they are affected by the horrors of the job. They are becoming fewer and fewer as time goes on.

The younger generation does not have the stigma around talking things out. They have been brought up differently. Kitchen tables in firehouses across the country have turned into places where it is OK to question your feelings and seek guidance from your peers.

To dismantle the “tough it out” stigma, you need to lead by example. You need to provide a healthy peer support program and normalize the need to seek help with your mental health.