A call has been made … not by you … but for you.
Know that as we race to your home, we will do everything in our power to correct what we can …
Kneeling beside you I say a silent prayer, already knowing you are gone.
We will do everything that we can do to preserve your life, but we feel that you’ve already crossed that line.
As the time passes, we apply our tradecraft however the realism takes hold.
We hear the silent cries of loved ones from the adjoining rooms, our eyes look for them but we cannot see them.
Our eyes do see a past that our patient has left … a favorite television show that they were enjoying … the steam rising from a coffee untouched, a life surrounded by their accomplishments, a puzzle unfinished.
The expanse of the room seems so vast, images of years gone by …
Pictures of friends and families adorn the walls and tables … watching to see what will become of you only to be brought back by the quiet whimper of a pet’s longing for their master.
As time continues to pass, the house becomes more of a theatre … with multiple acts playing all at once … with the cast of characters changing as the news spreads of your ailment.
As the time begins to slow, the family’s cries of frustration move to acceptance and planning.
This of course seems so unreal, as the house quiets, final decisions are made on your behalf.
Some may say a quiet prayer for you while others move quickly, hurried by decisions that are out of their control.
We are quietly told that our job is done … we quietly prepare things to go.
As we depart, questions will be quietly racing through our thoughts … was there something we could have done … could we have been here faster … so many questions about you and our own mortality.
As we leave your home … we sometimes search for words to say to your loved ones, knowing that they seem to fall as quickly as we say them.
As we go outside, the light seems different … family members scan our faces looking for answers, our eyes only telling the tale.
The roadways are massed with lights and silhouettes of those who you knew by name .. they will be left with so many unanswered questions and stories they wish that they had shared.
As we climb into our vehicles to go back to our station to prepare for the next call … please know that it is a solemn time for us as we pull away.
But know this, we have left a piece of ourselves with you, a piece of our puzzle.
