I started with the department when I was 19 years old. I was promoted, and now, 17 years later, I started my first job working Monday to Friday. My wife and I have been together for 13 of those years. So, we have had to adjust nearly all aspects of our lives, since everything has changed.
Once we settled into our new way of life and got back to our baseline, I had to face something I haven’t had to deal with for awhile – my habits. It was time for us to start growing and bettering ourselves. What things were we going to work on for ourselves and each other? How can we be better? What are our priorities? How do we achieve our goals, both individually and together?
Some things changed easily, some were difficult, and I couldn’t quite figure out why. It wasn’t the action of the habit that was causing me trouble, it was my mindset. It was a battle. My mind would play tricks on me to keep me from achieving that goal, especially in moments I didn’t plan for. Then I realized the importance of thinking through the goal and having a plan for when those moments appeared.
The Ancient Wisdom of Aristotle on Habits
Two years ago, I started my personal study of habits and behavior change and started experimenting with my own life. Aristotle, the Ancient Greek philosopher, is the first person to identify a behavior as a habit and study its purpose and contribution to the person. This is what I’ve learned.
Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” I’ve heard this for so long, and it ran through my head. Then I investigated it and realized I had been interpreting it all wrong. I completely misunderstood what he was saying. The word habit usually gets all the attention. Understandably, since the habit is the action we’re focusing on to improve our lives, it’s an important component.
Excellence was the second word to catch my attention. Excellence, it’s not a word we really use often in today’s world, and in Greek, he was referring to arete meaning. Then I realized the word are, we are – what we repeatedly do was the most powerful and introspective. It begets the question, who am I? That question must be answered first before moving on. Then, what kind of person would do that action? Lastly, am I that kind of person?
For example, I love to read, and I wanted to read more. So, I asked myself, what kind of person reads books? What kinds of choices and sacrifices do I think they make in order to read more books? Am I that person?
Now, I bring a book everywhere I go. If I must wait, I have a book. It doesn’t matter if it’s waiting for my haircut or waiting at the doctor’s office. I can get a chapter or two in at lunch time.
Think through your habits and ask yourself the tough questions of who you are and whether those goals align with your beliefs.
The Three Pillars of Self for Habit Change
According to Aristotle, there are three parts of the self for the habit change process to be effective.
- Self-awareness – clearly defining what you want to achieve, then breaking it down into manageable steps.
- Self-discipline – develop the habits that align first with your values, then with your goals.
- Practical wisdom – this is the decision-making process you use to navigate the challenges you will face along the way. This involves considering the circumstances and choosing the course of action that aligns best with your values. Practical wisdom is the most challenging part, and where you should take your time to learn yourself. This is where you must ask yourself the tough questions:
- What kind of person are you?
- What kind of person does the action you’re wanting to do?
- Do you want to be that kind of person?
Once you have answered those three questions and have a solid understanding of yourself, you now have a measurement to guide you. Now, whenever you’re faced with a challenge, you can simply ask yourself, “What would that kind of person do?” since now you have identified yourself and that person as the same.
The Internal Resistance to Change
All habits can be broken. There is no exception. They arise from the conditioning of our minds and serve as a process of self-learning. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else and defer all judgments of yourself. Just observe and be kind about it.
Habits are the tools you use to help you reach success and to become a more ideal version of yourself. Aristotle would agree. According to him, habits are repeated actions that shape our character. It’s not just about short-term goals, it’s a pathway of thinking to a meaningful life, and training your mind for success and personal improvement. Habits are the foundation for everything else to be built on.
We are good at this, though. We are good at recognizing that something needs to change, but changing it is the hard part. Why? Because the part of us that we are changing doesn’t want to be changed. That’s the negative part of our mindset, the part that doesn’t want us to grow. Whenever you decide to change something about yourself, for some unknown reason, an incredible kind of resistance suddenly arises within you. Usually, it’s in the form of a fearful and self-doubting bully; but it could disguise itself as anything, so be aware and stay alert.
Whatever habit you are trying to change doesn’t want to be changed. It’s comfortable and happy the way it is. What being wouldn’t fear extinction?
Embracing Self-Knowledge for Confident Growth
If you are serious about your own self-improvement and growth, you must not listen to that voice that is holding you back. Your life and your happiness are at stake. Accept that the resistance against the habit is normal.
When you know yourself, you can move towards excellence and success confidently.
Chris is a former Battalion Chief with more than 17 years of experience and served as the health and safety officer for his department. Beyond his career in firefighting, Chris is an advocate for leadership, personal-development, mindfulness, and philosophy.
