Dr. Virginia Loewenstine, CEO and medical director of Tristate Preventive Health, answers your questions
Q: I keep setting high expectations for myself and my family, but I’m constantly disappointed. How do I adjust my expectations?
A: It begins with compassion for others and more importantly, compassion for yourself.
High expectations are common among firefighters, so you are not alone. As a firefighter, you are pushed to do your best and you expect the best from everyone around you. This can spill over into your home life, which can be very frustrating when you or your family do not meet your expectations. Recognizing and acknowledging that your expectations are higher than others is the first step. Many would deny this.
All humans are fallible, and we are all humans. Mistakes are going to be made. Being human requires compassion for others but also compassion for yourself. To show compassion to others is to see them as they are, not what you want them to be. This goes for you, too.
There are many books available on self-love and self-compassion. Reading them will help, as well as speaking with a mental health professional.
