By Brian Thompson, president and founder of Calling 912
We often filter water in two specific ways (coffee and beer). You pick one.
Do we filter our speech or, in the fire service, jargon? Do we come with a filter that functions? A knee-jerk reaction is usually spot on for most of our responses to each other at the dinner table or morning coffee, but is it acceptable?
We need to check our filters and ensure they are fully operational. Now, imagine arriving home and speaking to your family or spouse as you do at the table at the firehouse. The feces are going to hit the round metallic oscillating device!
God help you, my friend. The lesson learned by this guy went like this:
“Do not speak to me as if I were a firefighter!” says the boss.
I wear the pants in my house, but my wife picks them out and tells me when to wear them. Let this resonate for just a little while. While we all get a chuckle at my expense, I also got my wife a two-minute penalty for high-sticking me with a loaf of French bread to my head.
Now, anyone who knows me or my wife would say I deserve this. Because most of the time, my filter does not function, either. But I have learned to pivot and keep it in check. I do not swear around my granddaughters. I also learned that not every firefighter responds to swearing and sarcasm.
Stakeholders’ Perspective
Let us look at this scenario via a local stakeholder in your service area. Local/loyal fire service supporter asks, “Why are you shopping with the firetruck? I pay my taxes, and now I am paying for your damn dinner?” The apparent logical answer is, “Yes, and we are having steak tonight, and that is a fire engine, not a fire truck, get it right a**hole. Duh.”
We responded to the local middle school for an EMS rekindle of the same patient acting out because lunch was not tolerable. A fine young adult approaches you and the crew as you’re wheeling the food critic to the ambo when this question is thrown your way: “What happened?”
The concerned young adult attempts to grab their cellphone to record the situation. The proper response is, “Shark attack in the main pool. Stay clear.”
Now, this is hilarious because not only did the student steer clear of said pool, but the local school district’s superintendent called to ask if that was stated because a parent became upset the school district purchased a shark with our tax dollars. The only problem is, none of the schools has a pool, from grade school to high school. I was nicknamed shark attack for a time, and then the baby shark hit. Damn.
Applying the Filter
Some takeaways: One, slow down and think about your response before firing it off. Would I talk to my daughter, granddaughter, or any family member in that tone or about that topic? If the answer is no, change it up.
Coming up with new ways to defile our co-workers at the dinner table is a rite of passage, but it comes at a cost. It can be humorous if it is fun-natured and does not hurt the target. But if the target is being hurt intentionally, it is bullying. Please be mindful.
If you genuinely cannot control an outburst, seek help. Anger comes out in mysterious ways, and you might be hurting. Get that checked out.
Second, if you can say it to a student, ride-along, or administrative assistant, and you get a chuckle from them, all good. But, beware of crossing the line and hazing or bullying a department member or a patient. Treat people with respect. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
Third, with the two previous stories: Educate the public on what we do on a shift day. We choose to shop at our local grocery store, and the citizens do not pay for our meals. We just came from an emergent response or need to remain in service and get some dashboard time.
End Self-Sabotage
The public does not know what they do not know. Educate them about the processes and routines we do every day to protect them and their families. Avoid making every situation or response negative; it will eat you alive.
Do yourself a favor, and stop sending angry texts or emails, venting incorrectly, and picking the target. Let the filter kick in and do what it should for a minute or two. Stop the self-sabotage.
As always, be safe and take care. Be mindful of fire-service members and their families. Take some drama off your plate by not asking for seconds. You and your family deserve some peace.
Brian Thompson has a doctorate in philosophy from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology, and has been a firefighter/paramedic for 32 years.
